‘He hates failing’: mother describes lack of help for autistic son

Kirsti Hadley is still reeling from how quickly her autistic son’s education has crumbled and how she cannot access help to get him back on track.Since November 2022, her 12-year-old son has only managed to spend a few hours a week at Varndean school in Brighton.

Her son was looking forward to his large, new secondary school but his mother knew the transition from his small primary school would be overwhelming. Her request for a reduced timetable, however, was turned down, with the school also insisting they needed to observe her son for a full academic year before supporting him in the education, health and care (EHC) plan he required to access extra support.

“Instead of letting her son start on a staggered schedule and build up, they said he had to fail at a full timetable first,” Hadley said. “That was traumatic. He hates failing, what child doesn’t?”

Nevertheless, her son started his new school full of positivity. Soon, however, he was having a panic attack every time he tried to leave home for school. The attacks were so severe it would take him the entire day to recover.“After a few weeks of this, he simply couldn’t go in any more – he was completely burnt out and highly anxious,” said his mother.Her son now goes to school for – at best – just one day a week for classes in forest school, drama and animal therapy.“He has lost so much core learning that I can’t see him ever catching up,” said Hadley. “He’s still on waiting lists for CAMHS [child mental health services] to give him medication despite them accepting his private autism and ADHD diagnosis. He has yet to see the school counsellor and his EHC plan is still not submitted. There’s not one shred of support from any other source. It’s terrifying: the way things are going he’s not going to get any educational qualifications at all.”A spokesperson from Varndean school said: “Varndean is an inclusive school and supports hundreds of students with an autism diagnosis or those who are on a pathway. We support families in this difficult time where external services such as CAMHS are under pressure and despite the pressures our school is facing, alongside all schools, with reduced funding.”